Too much blood

My mood brightened a little this morning and throughout the day. I took my mom's advice and wore some color (she says it always makes her more cheery.) And I wore my happy earrings :-) They look more like the old Wal-Mart logo, but it's still the same basic message.

After an inservice this morning (which, frankly, didn't do anyone much good. It was an impromptu session geared to help the newbies with any of their questions. Because we haven't actually taught yet, it's difficult to know what questions to ask. So yeah.) After the session in which I doodled wonderful psychedelic  things in my notebook, the new teachers went with the boss to get our ARCs (Alien Registration Cards.) We spent a decent amount of the afternoon being poked, prodded, stuck with needles, made to pee in TWO cups (that's a lot of urine, p.s.) and they took 4 VIALS OF BLOOD. I almost died. I was bruised pretty badly and my arm still hurts. Proof:

Work ended and I walked in the misty, nastiness to E-Mart. I bought two pairs of "menswear" pants (pretty inexpensive because they weren't hemmed, but I don't mind that extra bit of work for $3 and $5 pants,) and a nice beige cardigan that will go with everything and I will wear all the ding-dong time. Also purchased, was an ironing board. Can't be looking wrinkly! I paid a little too much for blue Christmas lights - but I really, really, wanted some for my apartment. It's always a little homier with campy Christmas lights.

I got home, hopped down to the convenient store beneath my apartment and bought roach traps and Pringles!!

However, they're shaped kind of funny and are a tad smaller than U.S. Pringles. Everything is smaller in Korea.

Matching the Weather

It's still gloomy out and for some reason, I'm feeling the same way. I went for a run when I woke up, but my endorphins aren't doing their job. Eesh. I don't want to be bogged down by sadness today. I'm not even sure what I'm sad about. Everything, I guess. The newness can be fun and exciting but reality hits: I'm here. I'm not going home. I'm not going to see my friends in Greenville or Asheville, or my family in Charlotte. My life is here now. I still don't think I've grasped it.

Rainy Afternoon

This sounds dumb - I was surprised when I saw the rain today. I've only been here a week, and there's been no precipitation. I realized that they get rain in South Korea, too :-)

I tried a new church this morning with Danielle and Stephen. They had to leave before the service let out, so I was on my own for a bit - until I connected with this great couple, Matt and Kristen. SO NICE. I was asking how to get to a well-known Indian restaurant and after they offered to show me, they asked me to just come back to their place for lunch. I was floored by their generosity! They're letting me borrow a toaster and some guide books for South Korea...really, these people are so genuine and friendly. I hope that we can be better friends in the future. Tuesday night is some get together with a friend of theirs at church, which I was invited to. Since Tuesday is a holiday, I think I'll join. I just have so much joy right now! And so thankful that God put them in my path today.

Because it's gloomy this afternoon (and I don't mean that in a negative way - I adore rainy days,) I'm settling in with some Swiss Miss, The Lovely Bones, and just demolished a medium cheese pizza.

For the record, since I took this picture, those last two pieces are gone :-)

Graduation and Staff Dinner

The pork worked itself out. I felt a little funky from eating it, and Chana got sick - I think that's enough of a sign for me to stay the heck away from it.

Yesterday was graduation; long. day. Eesh. I'm glad that it's out of the way. I was able to interact with the kids, get to know them better and get an idea of what I get to help with next year. As it was, I had nothing to do except watch the other teachers corral their kids and sit through the 3-hour graduation show and ceremony. Here are some photos Chana took yesterday at graduation:

These kids were excited to give me a high fives and were making a game out of jumping high enough to hit my hand.

This is MJ and me trying to figure out how to eat all of this strange food! Unfortunately, this was the meal that made Chana sick and me scared for my stomach. One of the Korean teachers from my school is sitting to my left (the right and a little out of the picture.) He was helpful in teaching us how to assemble our food. We had to put the cooked meat, garlic, mushrooms or onions with sauce into a lettuce leaf. Very interesting and rather tasty. Just an unsettling after-effect.

Today, I'm going to try another church with Danielle and her husband Stephen. I'm so thankful that they live semi-close to me. I knew Danielle back in the States and she's been such a blessing in my short time here already.

Tingling legs

...Usually means nerves or sickness...I just came back from eating with the staff after the day-long LCI Kids Club graduation festivities. I was given pork (something I rarely/never eat because it never sits well with me) and now I'm experience leg-tingling and remembering why I don't eat pork. My poor friend, Chana, just told me that she threw up almost immediately after eating. Urg. I DO NOT feel like getting sick tonight. Jesus, please don't let me get sick! I want to be vomit free for a year! I have such a sensitive stomach that food poisoning to me, is like sneezing to other people. It happens often and isn't that big of a deal - except it is a big deal because I hate being sick.

Maybe, because it's been an hour and half since I ate, I'll just feel icky for a bit and not throw up. Maybe.

We're keepin' it real, in da G-Hood.

Buuhhhh

This week. Oy. THIS is how I feel:

So, I had a Nutella/Peanut Butter photoshoot:

It's a good evening in the Gwangju hood.

Wrinkle-free

I'm using my firm mattress as a make-shift ironing board. Unfortunately, some kind of dye went from the maroon surface of the bed to my white shirt :-/ I think I'll wear something else tomorrow.

R.I.P.

Cotton died. I think I bought the wrong kind of food because they've not been eating it. Either that or they're too stupid to eat. Dang it. Candy is swimming circles around his corpse. I wonder if I should just put her out of the misery of being alone. Choices, choices.

My mom just informed me

That today is the week anniversary of my leaving the country! I'm so proud of myself for making it a week ^_^

Bad hair days and a smelly apartment

My apartment still smells like a greasy old man when I walk in. And last I checked, I'm not a greasy old man. So, I will burn another stick of incense. I'll smoke that smell out with some good ole' patchouli.

Also, I wanted to document what an awkward stage my hair is in. I'm trying to grow it out, but it's in that in-between place that looks really strange. My hair is so big and this length is not flattering. Neither is the face, but I couldn't resist.

Fresh from a run! The schedule that I'm on to work up to a 5K had me change up the intervals this morning: run 5, walk 3, 5, 3, and 5. I'm getting better! It's encouraging to see my progress. I used to not be able to run for one minute without getting winded, and now, I'm able to stretch my limits. I like running in the morning before most of the city is up. It's also a lot of fun to run in a city. I was pleased that I was able to remember where I lived without having to depend on understanding the street signs.

Here goes another day of training. I'm told that it's the most grueling, which is fine with me. Get the mediocre stuff out of the way and then I can enjoy teaching!

I ate dinner with some girls I'll be working with. That was fun. They made awesome sushi (!) and I was able to contribute some pasta (of course.) I was grateful to have a stove to cook with, so I took advantage of it and made a lot of pasta and several sauces to warm up later. I guess I need to keep bugging my director about getting a stove...

Longings

It has been 5 days. Each day I feel like God is stretching and growing me, bringing different things to mind, teaching me how to come closer to him. I want to forget myself and be used in a way that would bless other people. That's difficult for me, because sometimes I get intensely selfish and just want alone time to veg. I have such a desire to see the product of everything I do, and to speed through the process. I have no patience.

I want so badly to go back to certain places in the states and just sit there. On a street corner in New Bern. In the park in Greenville. Strolling the sidewalks of Asheville. Driving down the highway, music blaring, windows down, on my way to Mars Hill. Warm, sunny, happy weather. These are my favorite places. God gives me these longings - I just need to know how to accept them without being too homesick and thinking that if I was there (instead of here) that life would be magically perfect. Because life never is.

If I really scrutinize my experiences, back to each time I spent in the aforementioned places, there were strains and stresses, an equal amount of bad with the good. I'm not sure why I'm only remembering the good things, but I am thankful for the memories. Does this mean that once this SoKo thing is over, I should rush back there (there I go again - speeding through life,) hoping to relive summers past? I don't know, and I kind of doubt it. I don't think anything stays the same. Once I leave a place and return, I don't fit in any longer. I experienced that slightly, after going back to Greenville for the second (and last) time before coming here. I had been gone only a week and already, I realized that because I was no longer a student, that life was going to roll forward - and it had already started driving down the road.

That's ok. I ultimately want to be in a place emotionally, and spiritually, where I can truly say that God is my only home. He is, of course. There's such an overwhelming peace I have by being close with him, and I want that to grow - but I want to be able to enjoy wherever I am, at that moment and not long for something behind or in front of me. True contentment. To be filled with the satisfaction that only God can bring, that makes me happy with my current surroundings.

Right now, I'm torn between missing Asheville and the two summers I spent there, my friends in Eastern Carolina, and this new, raw place. While everything here, collectively, is totally different than anything I've experienced, there are random things that remind me of home. I was eating in TGIFriday's at the bus terminal the other day and a song came over the speakers - one that my sister, Jordyn, loves. And I teared up, right in front of my pasta bread bowl. There are mountains surrounding Gwangju, and yesterday morning during my early jog, I was looking at them and feeling so much homesickness for my North Carolina mountains.

Training Day 1

I wasn't quite prepared to be training across town this morning, but I am glad to have begun my work here! I walked with a few of the other teachers to the LCI Kid's Club location where I will eventually work, only I was quickly whisked away to the location on the other side of Gwangju for training. Our location is getting ready for their graduation this Saturday and so there's barely any reason to observe classes that are putting learning on hold to prepare their songs for the ceremony this weekend.

I don't want to speak too soon, but - - oh well, here it is: I love kids! I was able to shadow several teachers today and I adored watching the classroom. These babies are sweet and rambunctious and precocious and fun. I'm excited to get my own classroom. I know I will love them.

The day looked like it might stretch on forever at 9:30am, but after we were dismissed at 5:50pm, I was pleased that it flew by. Chana and I made another E-Mart trip. We walked this time; which was nice on my legs, already tired from the jog I went on this morning. That's ok. I need to feel some physical strain - it's good for me. The walk down there was about 20 minutes and quite brisk. I bought a few more things for my apartment, like a dishrack, dish towels, a small plant, and I treated myself to two new fish! I had Beaton, my betta fish, back in Greenville. I loved him. I wish that he could have come with me, but that wouldn't have been a convenient way for either of us to travel. SO, I thought I'd get myself some housewarming fish. They are bright blue and pink and cute as anything.

Now, my feet are aching from being on them all day and I'm ready to pass out. I'm not looking forward to waking up early. I'll relish the day that the after-effects of jet lag decide to leave me alone so I can straighten out my sleep schedule and be in bed past 6am.

Goodnight.

Apartment Pictures

I was hesitant to post pictures of my personal living space because it's not where I want it to be, decorating-wise...but per request, here's my new abode.

When I first saw it, my jaw dropped and I wanted to cry. I've lived in tiny rooms before, but this is like reverting back to a dorm room. However, After I unpacked, settled in and four days have passed, it's beginning to grow on me.

The view from my bed. Notice the gaudy comforter; that was here when I arrived. The school was sweet enough to give me some kind of bedding, and although I think it looks atrocious, bedding of any kind is ridiculously expensive. That's one less thing I have to blow my money on. There is a tv on the floor and because I don't watch tv, (ever,) I'm brainstorming ways that I can disguise it instead of having it take up space on my floor.

One thing you can't tell from looking at this picture is that, these floors are heated (!!!) I'm in love with that idea, since I always have cold feet (literally, not necessarily metaphorically.) 

That's my wardrobe in the corner - very convenient and holds all my clothes/shoes. A drying rack is hanging on the wall to the right. I don't have a clothes dryer, so everything comes out of the washer and lays on my table/chairs/drying rack. A sliding glass door separates my "kitchen" from the bedroom. I'm not sure why that's there, expect to keep the cool air from the window over there.

Bathroom! Tiny, tiny. The shower head is running from the sink to right next to the window. This is my shower. The water runs down and I get clean in front of the sink - no shower curtain required! The water gets everywhere, but it's meant to and drains beneath the sink. Pretty nifty. Although I miss the option of a bath...

Leigh Margaret in her natural element.

View into the kitchen.

Microwave, washer, and refrigerator. 

Everything and the kitchen sink. Notice the Nutella ;-) My little cooking/hot pot thing doesn't work. So I'm eating bread and fruit and eating out until that can be fixed. I'm dying for some rice and thai peanut sauce!!

The First Real Excursion

Danielle stayed the night and we took a cab to try out a church this morning. We had sketchy directions from facebook which led us to this empty room. After we went back downstairs and happened across another foreigner on the street, we were able to find the building. It was a small service, but these people were genuine, welcoming and filled with the spirit! I would definitely be willing to go back and try it again. They really made me feel at home. I almost cried for Ignite, though. I miss that church like crazy.

As far as choosing a church goes, I want to be cautious in committing too soon to one. When I get involved in a church body, I like to give a lot of my time and energy. However, I've made the mistake before of becoming   heavily involved before knowing what they're all about, or exploring my other options. I just need to pray that God will continue to lead me in the right direction. He definitely had his hand on us this morning - the message was fantastic. Extremely relevant, included some of my life verses (Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11,) and affirmed what I said in the previous post: God is more interest in your character than he is in your comfort. Thank you, God!

 

One of the streets of Gwangju

This is where I live - one of the alleyways near my apartment building. The streets are very small (only wide enough for one car at a time) and the whole place has a stinky, fishy, close smell. I often forget how smelly cities are; not ideal for me, having such a sensitive nose, but my love of bustling places negates all of that.

Danielle took my picture on the street my apartment lives on. This is my new home.

The driveway up to my building.

Another angle of a nearby alley.

I'm floor number three!

Early morning again

I managed to stretch my bedtime to a little after midnight last night, but I still woke up at 6:30 am. That's ok - maybe a nap is in store later. The thing about sleeping in my bed is that it's only comfortable when I'm absolutely exhausted...the mattress is firmer than I'm used to.

Last night was a successful trip to E-Mart (Korea's version of Wal Mart.) Three levels of expansive everything-you-could-ever-need shopping. And there are escalators to ride with your shopping cart. I was stared at quite a bit, but the employees were extremely helpful, especially finding specific food items. I spent entirely too much money, but I'm rationalizing it by saying that every move needs one large shopping trip for necessities and then every trip after that will be cheaper. I just hope my money lasts until I get paid.

Danielle, Chana and I took a cheap taxi down a main road with so many shops and a lot of foreign (American) style establishments. We found out where we are in a map of Gwangju and were excited that a nearby hotel serves as a well-known landmark. This will make getting back to my apartment by taxi much easier.

Today, Danielle and I will try a church! I'm excited to go and see God work in a country not my own. It's always exciting to realize that God is bigger than the States. Supposedly, there will be a substantial foreigner community at said church...I'll update later with my thoughts on it.

Tomorrow, Chana and I begin our first day of training! I'm not sure what to expect, besides a long, grueling day, but I think I'm ready to be busy. I'm glad for the weekend, but busyness is my favorite.

I can't wait to begin to feel at home here. I've transitioned many places in my young life, but none as alien as this. If you're a praying friend, please pray that I adjust smoothly and find reasons to be happy that I'm here. One reason I'm sure of: God is always with me. He's not interested in my comfort, but he does care for me - and so I'm praying for comfort :-)

Lunching

I think there will be fewer posts on the days that I actually have something to do. I've been hanging around the apartment most of the day - and I'm really ok with that. We (the apartment and I) became very well acquainted this morning when I cleaned. I have yet to sweep my floor because I don't own a broom and dustpan. But it will happen.

I'm pretty proud of myself. I got hungry around 11:30 am and decided to venture out in search of familiar food. I remembered seeing a Domino's pizza nearby (I know, Domino's, what the heck - but I wanted something that my stomach could agree with!) so I went there and had a fun little bout of made-up sign language with the girl taking my order. At least I could say hello and thank you in Hangul.

I realized what a child might feel like before they learn to read. To look at a sign and not be able to comprehend its meaning, is infuriating! I'm not sure how much of the language I will be able to soak in, or if I need to make a decided, conscious effort to communicate. I was surprised at how little English Koreans speak. But then, why else did I come to this country but to try and help teach?

I'll leave you with a photo of the view from my window. Notice the little mountain in the back. I love mountains.

Morning time

After nine hours of sleep, I woke up at 5 am. My eyes just popped open. A little frustrating, since I've got the whole day to do whatever, and I would really rather sleep. But it's alright. I was able to skype with my sister for two hours and my mom for a little while as well. I'm getting used to this apartment. I had to cry a little and realize this is reality. I'm trying not to think too far ahead; just take things a day at a time. Sometimes I tend to look to closely at the big picture and I get overwhelmed (see previous post.)

I'm sleepy again. I think I'll nap, watch some Office, and clean. Danielle comes back at 2:30 and we'll go to E-Mart (Korea's Wal Mart) to get some apartment necessities. I'm so tired!! Jet lag is the worst. I've never experienced it quite like this.

Life is good. I've been burning incense so my room smells better.

p.s. I want to apologize for the random train of thought throughout this post and perhaps the previous one as well. I'm still muddled and it feels better to just write, without having to concentrate on whether or not it makes sense.

I think I'll get some paper while I'm out. I have this intense desire to watercolor.

Can we say Overwhelmed...?

An 8 am morning on Wednesday, a flight out to Chicago that evening, a layover lasting until 2 am (Eastern time), a 14 hour flight with barely any sleep, a skipped Thursday (time change drama), a four hour bus ride to Gwangju, a quick tour of my apartment, the new school and lunch with the boss - left one emotion-filled girl in apartment 301. Wow. I am so thankful that my friend, Danielle, was here the whole time. She put me at ease and calmed me down when I wanted to run away, back to the US.

I rearranged my apartment, burned some incense to mask the doggy-greasy-man smell, and now I'm settling in with my favorite comfort movie, Sense and Sensibility. Life is ok. God is good. He's right here with me, and that's all I need. My whole life was stuffed into three bags and now I'm in a strange country that doesn't speak my language...many of my friends were right to label me courageous - but I think the word is crazy. I'm absolutely stark raving mad. And I'm ok. God has provided everything I need and He's got it all under control.

Good night, Gwangju.

(I miss you, Mom)

Touchdown in Chicago

Waiting in the terminal for my 1 am flight. I think I finally have jitters. I think I'm just tired. Right now, it's almost 11pm Eastern time, but with the last flight, I was time traveling and it's now 9:45pm. I don't even know what to do with myself. It's kind of hitting me right now, as I type this, that I'm starting over, with a clean slate. Everything is new, and it's just God and me. Whew. He's going to give me strength to do this.

I don't think I'm even writing anything cohesive, I'm so overwhelmed. But I'm playing it cool. Chillin' near the electric outlets so my computer won't die.

TODAY

This was my stomach upon waking this morning. Waking up too early, I might add. And before I was even lucid, my body knew. I'm so excited, I can barely stand it!!

My baby sister is staying home from school today to hang out with me. I thought that was very sacrificial of her. Not that she doesn't like getting a free day of hooky, but I'm sure she forfeited several obligations, just to spend more time with me.

Perhaps I'll update this when I'm in Chicago, on my layover.

The Penultimate Day

I woke up this morning and screamed in my head a little. TOMORROW. I didn't think these last few days in the states would ever come, but here I am packing and smothering my family before the plunge. My Grammy called me a while ago and wanted to say goodbye. Since she doesn't have internet and I won't be making many phone calls without it back to the US, I know that was the last time I would hear her voice for a year. We'll stick to letter writing. I'm fond of that. She was about to hang up the phone and started choking on tears. Eesh, that's tough. My Grammy never cries.

I think I'll go out shopping (window shopping, really. I don't have room for many more things in my luggage,) because my mom and sister are at school until later today.

Ramen Cravings

I don't think that I've ever tasted a decent bowl of Ramen noodles and broth. Sure, sure, there's the .90 cups that get a body through college and other times of similar poverty, but now I have this intense hankering for a Ramen broth. My wonderful friend, Katie, is always suggesting new movies and shows, since I recently signed up for Netflix. Tonight's movie was The Ramen Girl. Very entertaining. Cheesy, as I was warned, but still fun.

I realize that Japan (where the movie was set) is an entirely different animal than Korea - - I get it - - but it's somewhat akin, right? I thought I would be indulgent with my eastern fantasies. Soon enough I'll be totally submerged in a culture whose first language is not English. This will be interesting.

I'm surprised that the movie was made in 2008. The costumes felt slightly dated - and yet still intrigued me. {For those that don't know, I made my college career about costume design, so that's usually what I notice in a film. Well, it's one of the things. And I will gush:

 Abby (Brittany Murphy's character) always happened to look cute - even when she was supposed to look "a mess." Oh Hollywood, when will you be realistic? I digress.

 She wears this adorable denim apron all throughout the movie - made me want to make one for myself! Except I don't cook nearly enough to need one. I am messy enough to need one, though...

I'm digging the scarf and textured sweater. Is it fair to assume it's knit? I wish I had the patience to make it.

...and the hat's not my favorite. But the coat was cute when not obstructed by the onions.

Annnnndddddd during the movie, I was busy knitting a tubular, infinity scarf. It's a wool/acrylic 20/80 blend. Hopefully the wool won't overpower the knit and make my neck feel like I'm wearing a hay bale. I will post a picture of the finished product. Eventually.

Jordy

I had to say goodbye to another friend this morning. Oh Jordan, I love you. I'm going to be nostalgic and post a baby picture of the two of us. We're a little over a year apart in age, but this girl has basically been my twin growing up. We could communicate before she could talk and we still kind of know what the other is thinking. It's nice to be friends with a sister.

I'm tired of crying! I'm not looking forward to leaving the airport on Wednesday when my parents and little sister drop me off. No mascara for me, thanks.

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day! I don't have a Valentine (and I didn't really have one last year, either) but that's ok. I'm going to be nice to myself, eat as much chocolate as I want, watch a lot of The Office and hang out with my mom. Valentine's Day isn't just for lovers, but for people to show that they care. And I have enough loved ones to keep up with, without worrying about a lover ;-)

2 days...

Leaving the country...

As my flight date is quickly approaching, I'm becoming more nervous. I went through a freak-out period right before Christmas, but I've since settled into the idea of living in SoKo. However, I have a little over two weeks before I'm gone for a year and I'm beginning to sweat. I need to keep remembering that no matter where I am, I can be happy and God will be with me. There's no need to fear the unknown. I just need to keep my mind broad and continue looking for the positive!