I wonder if you think of me, even half as much as I think of you. It's been broken off for...I don't know, 3 months now? It feels like forever. And yet, you still come to mind. I kind of hate it. Because I don't necessarily think of all the reasons I'm not with you - how you're manipulative and have a warped moral system that I can't deal with. (I don't know, Readers, you tell me: is it normal to sleep in the same bed as your ex-girlfriend -broken up for a year, dated for 4- while pursuing another girl? I just didn't want to be in the middle of that mess.) How you allowed me to be trampled on by said ex-girlfriend, how you let another ex-girlfriend say mean, nasty things about me, which you then related to me. I just don't understand. A. Why all the hate? B. Why are all the ex-girlfriends still sniffing around and C. I'm not perfect and didn't handle everything right - but you sure as hell didn't handle things right either.

I remind myself to think of these things when I think of you. Otherwise, I just think of how I'm not with you. Which is weird, because I never thought you were good enough for me. To those that don't know you or me, that sounds terribly conceited. But, I mean, it's true. I am better-looking, funny, nicer, have a relationship with Jesus - we're from two entirely different universes. I don't know how else to put it.

I think I'm lonely. That's all. You were the last guy to wrap his arms around me and have this "unconditional love" look in your eyes. That's what I want. Not necessarily from you, but from somebody.

Now please, be so kind as to haunt someone else's thoughts.